cursed food thread
my coworker just told me the story of the time he ordered a 30 pound bag of gorilla food pellets as an office snack. he read “suitable for all large primates” on the amazon description and bought a 30 pound fucking bag and ate them for breakfast and lunch before eating, his words, “a sensible dinner”.
poem about a dildo
In 8th grade I had the most awkward meeting with a school counselor on Earth after forgetting to tear this poem out of my creative writing journal. It's titled "Thrift Store Dildo" and it goes like this
An object once loved, used & abused
Now alone, perched on a shelf
No one dares to touch you
Covered in strange liquids, oddly sticky
Who left you here? You poor, poor dildo
Your price tag says 1.50
But to me, you're priceless
The director of the research institute my mom works for has been arrested recently. He was shitty, but this arrest dramatically increased the amount of chaos my mom has to deal with, so she decided to retire. This means, she may move in with me.
My cat would eat her cat in a blink of an eye, she is terrified of my rats and, well, let's just say our love grows stronger with every kilometer between us.
trans woman pissing on a cop car
i would like to have a framed copy of this image to display in my home
104 Russian bisexual feminist tarsiers. Any pronouns will do.
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